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PUNK Magazine Listening Party #13 (9/11/02)
by John Holmstrom, Jolly Prochnik, and The General
Would you like to see your CD reviewed here? Then send it to: |
PUNK Magazine Listening Party
PMB 675
200 East 10th Street
New York, NY 10003 |
It's 9/11/02... Ground Zero is 2 blocks away... So... Let's rock 'n' roll!
Hot Water Music | Slab | Do the Pop! The Australian Garage-Rock Sound 1976-'87 | Speed Crazy | Slick Shoes | Hot Water Music | Gore Gore Girls | The Kaisers | Man Will Destroy Himself | Rancid Vat | Voice This Sound | The Hives | The Bulemics | The Ritchie Whites | Life is Bonkers | The Shakes | Nelly | Jones Crusher | The Bullys
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HOLMSTROM:
I try to play it on the small boombox we usually use, then I try to play it on Frank Black's old stereo that he donated to us... It still doesn't work.
JOLLY:
Well, just before we start, (John's setting up Frank's stereo system instead of the crummy boombox that decides which CDs it likes or not by playing them - or not) I would just like to get another beer (even tho' this one's not finished yet - just for a security blanket). Wait. Ah. Okay, it's there on the new floor. (John is having difficulty getting this particular CD to play on the new box. Nope. Doesn't wanna do it. Try it again on this one. John: "Keep trying 'til it works, Nope." Okay. Tough titty, temporarily, for Hot Water Music 'til some future date.
Next.
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HOLMSTROM:
Geez, sounds like every California punky-pop band I've ever heard. Well, at least I like the CD cover: sneakers. Their Website is www.onsetrecords.com... I wonder if a punk band will ever say, "Fuck the internet" and refuse to post a site? ... Just wondering...
JOLLY:
Okay. Listening. (Pause.) Frank came in to steal a few beers for him and his lovely assistant. Listening. Fast music but not so fast as to distract with its fastness. Lyrics: "I'd rather take it slow" That's synchronicity, sort of. (Until you can put such things "in the bank" they're meaningless is my opinion.) Anyhow, wow - even their "poignant" songs are fast. I was about to write a clich?d line about an old M&M's commercial but while I'm considering whether to commit to print for all times John shakes a garbage bag as if to say "Don't do it" - hey, there's a little hippie in all of us synchronicity-wise much as I hate to admit it. Fuck it. M&M's commercial "I do everything fast" or was it Nestlé's chocolate milk? (ED. NOTE: It was the Marathon bar!) Whatever. A GOOD "PUNK ROCK" RECORD.
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Various Artists
Do the Pop! The Australian Garage-Rock Sound 1976-'87
Shock Records
www.shock.com.au |
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HOLMSTROM:
A two-CD collection of Australian punk/garage. Starts off with The Saints and Radio Birdman. Reminds me of a story...
But HEY! This is a good record. Radio Birdman sound better than I remember, and The Saints are one of the greatest punk bands of the 1970s - along with the Dead Boys and The Damned - that don't get mentioned along with the Big Three (Ramones, Clash, Pistols) enough. The Saints first LP is amazing. There are some other good songs on this two-CD collection: The Fun Things "Savage," The Lipstick Killers "Hindu Gods of Love," Johnny Kannis "King of the Surf." But once it runs out of classic Saints and Radio Birdman Do The Pop runs out of steam.
There's a second CD of tunes from the 1980s but we've spent enough time on the first and besides, the CD player keeps rejecting it. This is not the first CD player that this happened to tonight, does anyone know why this keeps happening? If so, send me an email: jholmstrom@punkmagazine.com.
JOLLY:
Saints "Stranded" kicks it off. Yes very much thank you indeed. Boy I heard this the other night in a downtown NYC niteclub at about 2:30 or thereabouts when I was damn near stranded (ACTUALLY STRANDED by any normal person's standards) and this came on. I was like "Yes!" Not "Yes" the group, mind you. Cool. This gives me a chance to catch up on Aussie punk which I basically missed since there was so much vinyl every week that after awhile you hadda pick the known quantities otherwise a week would go by and you'd be swamped - left behind with last week's thrill! Where've ya been - listening to a buncha records that weren't "it?" So now... a song that has lyrics that say: "Really gonna punch you out!" A sentiment I have often had.
Next one (last one was "New Rave" by Radio Birdman). This one is The Psycho Surgeons: "Wild Weekend" kinda like The Damned in their first, best phase.
The Saints: "One Way Street" - dude, I've been to Australia. Hey Saints I sure sympathize from halfway 'round the globe & 20 years later "uptown downtown/acting just like you should." Some things are universal.
The Victims: "Television Addict" - "His lawyer said this boy is sick/Blame the ratings for his crime." No comment is necessary.
Hey since John has a lot to write about so will I. Radio Birdman: "Aloha Steve + Danno" - -Good Hawaii Five O lick - fast! I went to Australia in '84. I had fun, the whole time. I almost got out "clean" - then when it was time to leave I got a very last minute ride to the airport + I woulda just made it BUT! I discovered that I had left my passport behind so I went back to get it - big mistake. I had to wait another week for an alternate flight back to "the states" during which time I got exactly zero - count 'em zero - sleep. I drank countless amounts. Wine women song. And a whole lotta TV watchin'! Had a nervous breakdown (officially) (I've had countless unofficial ones like right now or last Thursday seventeen weeks ago all the time more or less so what. What's the diff between an official nervous breakdown and an unofficial one? Elvis: "They just haven't caught me yet." And that's ALL.
Well, not ALL, because I wasn't right after that - 'til now actually and HA! - by now I don't miss "sanity" that much. Double HA! Chalk one up for "wars won by attrition."
The Scientists: "Last Night" - "24 hours/I just don't know what's goin' on" Right and a half. By the way -
The Fun Things: "Savage" Sample lyrics: "I'm a rock 'n' roll kamikaze... buzz s saw guitars... wake the dead/I'm a savage for you." When I was there man every Friday and Saturday night I used to go out to the movies and see the Blues Brothers get wasted and veer around amongst the semi-rioting white people.
New Rose: "Alone in the End Zone." Right. I'm tellin' you it was wild like Nazi Germany - and not in a good way! I mean every weekend it was like a "White Riot" for no particular reason, young white males throwin' cans and bottles and being violent, just goin' nuts with nuts no particular place to go I guess but anyway after one of those nights I was zoomin' around after hours and the city of Sydney (like all other supposedly "major" cities insteada NY the C)...
The Celibate Rifles: "24 Hours (SOS)" YAP + double YAP! ... was like over, closed, a real "city of the dead" at fuckin' 2 A.M. So ANYways to finish up -
Minutemen: "Voodoo Slaves" Yes, exactly. I waltzed drunkenly up to two cops - not like D. Franz but very physically fit + about 6' 4" - you know (point being) READY TO "give chase."
I tell John to put the song "Stranded" on one MO TIME! Whoopee! So I can finish this nightmare tale from the darkside and get back to havin' fun (listenin' to tunes and chuggin' brews) (and writin' about it).
Saints: "(I'm) Stranded" "on my own/ stranded/FAR FROM HOME" No I have to say - RIGHT! So! I stroll up to 'em and ask, casually, "What would it take for you guys to bust me right now?" Even I at that time could tell you the answer to that one: "NOTHING!" Cop #1 sez: "Not much..." and in the hesitation of his unbelieving mind I say: "I'm gone!" And I run. And they chase but don't catch me. And here I am. Seventy million, four hundred + thirty two seconds (and approximately as many nervous breakdowns) later - YES, HERE I AM - free as a can of Bumble Bee tuna and not salted away in some sorta Midnight Express Armenian Prison or somethin' - Yippee! TA-DAA! Next record!
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HOLMSTROM:
Jolly saw this band live and liked them so much he invited them to send in their CD. Erika Kozak sings and plays a "slap" bass for Speed Crazy. Another band Jolly likes a lot, The Kings of Nuthin', also feature an upright bass. I think Jolly must be a sucker for them.
Speed Crazy is OK. They're a psychobilly band. The Cramps, of course, are the original & greatest psychobilly band. Speed Crazy's not as great as them but they're... okay! We've reviewed a lot of psychobilly bands at our Listening Parties. It's amazing when you think about it. The psychobilly scene has been around for 25 years now, and it's been growing and getting more interesting... But when will it get the media's attention and become a full-fledged phenomenon? A popular movie needs to break psychobilly into the American consciousness. Quentin Tarentino are you listening? He could make a great movie with this kind of stuff for an inspiration.
Yeah, Speed Crazy is OK. But then again, I can't say I've ever heard a BAD psychobilly band. It's a cool sound.
JOLLY:
Saw these guys at CBGBs - liked 'em a lot. They got a chick bassist who flips over on her back and still plays the whole time. Buy their first rockabilly psychopunk CD "Unsafe at Any Speed" - I think the first song on this is from that. They play well and they're serious. The guitar player smiles a lot. All their songs seem to be about lack of sobriety + nervous breakdowns and the ALLEGED(!) connection between the two. Actually, for all you A.A. kids, it's the opposite - as you fucking well know. You wish it wasn't that way but - TOUGH TITTY, Carrie Nation.
"Forever loaded/Balling/What have you"
Yay to Sonny Barger and his friends!
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HOLMSTROM:
They're from Boston but they sound a lot like they're from California. I swear this sounds so much like the first band we played you'd think it's the same record. Vocal harmonies, "sincere" lyrics (about one's personal life of course), punk/thrash guitar breaks and flashy drums with lots of fills... That's not a formula for good punk rock, but it's a formula for the kiddy-type punk records we've been getting. I think I'll call it "punky" rock from now on. 'Cause it's for kids, silly rabbit!
JOLLY:
You gotta be kidding! KINGS OF NUTHIN'!!! When it comes to East Coast Bands That Count That Aren't From New York (Boston), Kings Of Nuthin' ROCK - and I hate that adjective therefore I never use it. BUT! IN THE ONE CASE OF K.O.N. I'll use it and mean it (in a good way). This record - Slick Shoes - next big MTV Rolling Stone "Punk" Band - PLEASE bite me - and not in a good way. Don't quit your day job OR your fuckin' night job. "Slick Shoes," right - it's - you can hear that they already have some sort of "in" in the IN-dust-ry. They suck. And not in a good way. Go home to Beansville. I already don't like you. You are successful in advance for all the wrong reasons. No + Double No!
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HOLMSTROM:
Okay, this time the CD player worked. Epitaph's press release quotes go like this: "Hot Water Music is the best punk band on the planet right now. No exceptions."
-MAGNET
Who the fuck is MAGNET? And how the fuck can they back up a ridiculous claim like that? (Actually, a quote like that is usually done on purpose to cozy up to a record company and ensure that the reviewer can get work at the label in the future. So I never trust quotes like that.)
Here's another press quote:
"... one of the greatest post-Fugazi rock bands on the planet..."
-NME
Well, I've heard of the NME, but that publication is a long way from their glory days back in the 1970s. So I don't trust that one either.
Hot Water Music is OK, though. Unlike most of the California "punky" bands that clutter up most of Epitaph's roster, they play some powerful music. But they sound like a bunch of jerks to me. Here's a quote by THEM:
"We've always considered ourselves to be a band that adheres to certain punk ethics, but musically we've never really wanted to define ourselves at all. Besides - the term "punk" has kind of lost its meaning. It's more about hair color, which kind of sucks."
That was bassist Jason Black, quoted from a billboard.com interview. Well, I got news for ya, Jason... someone could have made that statement in 1979, too... Anyhow if you're correct in your statement, Jason, then why dos your press kit plaster that MAGNET quote all over the place? Kind of biting the hand that feeds you, huh, Jason?
Well, it's not like musicians are the brainiest people on the planet... Well, okay, by now we've listened to most of their CD. Good stuff. This is a really good punk band. Excellent, even. But they're far from "the best punk band on the planet" (Maybe those guys from MAGNET should get out more!).
JOLLY:
Ah, John finally got it to work. Hot Water Music - the first record we tried to review. Now let's review it. Need a beer first. And a cig. 'Scuse. Ah, replenishment. What's this song - "Trusty Chords." I think the lyrics are "I love the east coast." I shouldn't wonder especially when you go reversing the charges on long distance phone calls. Oops, it's "I love these chords." I'm with ya, dude! And I love the east coast. No, but seriously, this is, like, the first song I heard that sounds like a "hit" a "classic" or whatever, you know? Everybody is on all these CDs making their "personal statement" or what have you but like I usually don't hear a single a lotta times. Next song not too bad. Another puff of cig. Another draft of broo. Let me not "go back and revise - it's a sin" (mystery quote!). No matter how good a mood I'm in. Next song a little better than the previous. Next one: "Too "reggae"-ish. Next: next. Next: Alright for now. Eh. John reads my mood and changes it. Next: ditto. Next: ditto. Last song on CD: The end. Eh, ditto, next. Hey, John, play the one I liked again. I'll do it, just to see. Uh, yep. Lyrics: "Don't think about your girlfriend..." Yes! Don't! Listen to the song.
Ooops, no lyric sheet, guessing: "I need a vacuum/Ready steady check it/I love these chords/time is fallen/means I'm not dead/just can't seem to get away" YES! A HIT AND A MAJOR SINGLE, PICKED TO CLICK! See what the kids think. More guess lyrics: "You can't... something... exhausted... Keep me inside you... shaking" Boy, just keeps getting better and better. "I hate this part... But I love these chords" Could that be right? "A flag is flying above my head" Boy oh boy! Either I'm a genius or this song rules! Another adjective I can't stand like "rocks" and I never use it but again IN THIS ONE CASE - RULES! RULES! RULES! Whooo! Make this song a hit!
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HOLMSTROM:
Frank and Courtney from PostCard500.com stop by as I put on the record. Courtney says she doesn't like this very much. She prefers The Beta Band and The Crispy Ambulance. Well, there's no accounting for taste. Frank remembers the Gore Gore Girls' record label, Get Hip Recordings, when he was publishing a magazine in Detroit, MI. Me, I kind of like them. I especially like their song, "I Don't Think So." Very mid-60s. I think mebbe it's a cover song, judging from the publishing credits. I like the title track, "Up All Night," too. In fact, I like most of the songs on this CD!
JOLLY:
Yeah, mah writin' arm is tahrd. John Holmstrom: "They're from Detroit!" Courtney (Frank's (lovely) assistant) aka Olivia: "This song is like a clone." Baby, this IS a clone! Get hip! Don't be a darn loser! The U.S. has more + more + more. CLONES. No other Nazi country in the west can keep up with us clone-wise. I'm joking or am I not am I not or am I. You will never know until it's way too late by which point The Gore Gore Girls will have been "up all night" on yer ass. But not literally, which is good. Anyhow this record this song: Kinda surfy, good guitar solo like Ron Asheton if he couldn't play, chick singer "Tell me I'm your true love." Advice to chick singer: Get drunk and drop your "Control Mindness Chick instinct." Nothing personal.
John takes time out to play The General's Singing Toilet at the one and only girl in here, guaranteeing that she isn't gonna be here very long. So what. If female persons were beer, Oprah, then... uh... Y'know? Baby? I don't think so. Then again, so what.
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HOLMSTROM:
I like this band. They sound like the early Beatles or the Searchers or the Dave Clark Five or Freddy and the Dreamers or any of the Brit Invasion bands. Shakin', groovin', easy beat you-can-do-the-Monkey and shimmy & shake to music. My favorites are a couple of great instrumental songs: Paradiso Twist and "TrickShot." I'm not sure I could take a steady diet, but it's good stuff and a nice break from the usual Listening Party stuff.
And here's a tip - even if this doesn't sound like your favorite music, try to get your hands on the liner notes - they're a laff-riot!
JOLLY:
The Hitlers, you mean.
Then - from halfway across the room I hear: Courtney: Kaiser - that's like a Hitlerish thing, isn't it? Me: What do you mean?
John corrects her: Kaiser means Caesar. I correct John: Hitler was a Kaiser. John corrects me: Mussolini was a Caesar. (He's in argue-mode.) I'm like, "John, Hitler was a Caesar - all Caesars are the same. Side note to you the lovely reader: You see, what I mean is: Caesar/Hitler/Muscle dude #X walks in and everybody is like: "Wow, let me put Holmes onna pedestal!" AND (take note you #1 type o' dudes) (like me) THEN! (Oh, ho!) "Let me BLAME Holmes for everything I was certainly gonna do anyway!" The motherf - this is getting tedious.
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Man Will Destroy Himself
consume...be silent...die
Extremely Baked Records
www.mwdh.net |
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HOLMSTROM:
 This band was formed 9/01 - right around... 9/11. Fitting for us to review their CD on this night then. I usually hate this kind of hardcore/thrash stuff but these guys seem to have a sense of humor - they use the Planet of the Apes in their posters and stuff. Then again - maybe they're just very naiv?? Their lyrics are like that, too. These guys are either brilliant satirists or the stupidest and most pedantic hardcore band of all time. Here are some lyrics: What you despise is what you've become/Punk rock hero - how low will you go?/To the highest bidder - now you're outta my head/Where's your backbone? Is it at home? Punk rock heros [sic] no longer/I said, you're so low - you're SOLO/Fucking sellout - now you're outta my head.
Whatever, even if they're really stupid they're fast, they're loud and they're focused... And they're good.
JOLLY:
So, short digression - this A.M. George Bush, The Prez, calls - as he always does - and says, "Hey dude, can I get you anything? Some fuckin' donuts? Some coffee? Some hard drugs? Huh?" I was like, "Eh, dude - first: Don't Try so hard. Nobody needs friends THAT BAD. Okay? Second: I don't want any favors from you man - diggit? I don't want to be 'indebted' to 'the man' like my black brother down in 'the ghetto' - you dig baby? " I says to him I says.
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HOLMSTROM:
According to the liner notes, these guys are some kind of legend in their hometown of Portland, Oregon. Liner notes: "Let's just say this is the Rancid Vat that broke up every friggin' club they played."
Their front man, The Cosmic Commander of Wrestling, looks a lot like our buddy Glen Jones of WFMU radio fame. Tracks 10 & 16 on this CD were even recorded live during a WFMU broadcast. He sounds like a rock 'n' roll Jesse Ventura, too.
Rancid Vat doesn't sound like a typical hardcore band. "Hot & Nasty" sounds like a Black Oak Arkansas outtake played out of tune. "Hostile City USA" sounds like the MC5! "Hippy Punk" sounds like a funny sendup of all those west coast punks who sound & talk like hippies - "Spare change, man?" "The Darkest Souls of Rock 'n' Roll" sounds like Black Sabbath.
Rancid Vat are loud, sloppy, weird, out of control, funny stuff. Wish I could have seen 'em live!
Looks like Jolly is losing interest in reviewing CDs - oh, well...
JOLLY:
"It's a dreamy party."
- The Prisoner
"Hippie punk": The last line says: "F - k you" I am the God of Hellfire. That's my answer.
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HOLMSTROM:
"Post punk, post hardcore, indie rock, emo - whatever one chooses to call it - it's an undeniable presence, and this release is proof of that. 'Voice This Sound' is a highly diverse compilation featuring some of the most prolific and hard-working bands in the underground music scene today."
Yeah, and it's proof that all this "Post-whatever" shit sucks. Honestly, you'd think that a new scene would come up with something better than just being "post-whatever" it was that came before it. F'N idiots.
It's not terrible in the same way that Britney Spears is, it's much worse than that. It's just average, mediocre, unoriginal and bland. I know that sounds just like Britney Spears, but believe me it's worse because these guys don't pretend to be pop princesses... They claim to be the future of rock 'n' roll. F'N losers.
Where the fuck is The General? He said he'd be here hours ago.
JOLLY:
Nope. And Double Nope. Back to this president/me conflict:
I'm like dude - do your fuckin' job.
He's like - What do you think I AM doing?
I'm like - I don't know - what are you doing?
He's like - Hey, Pataki did nothing, he'll probably get re-elected.
I'm like - So what? You know he's "Pataki." He's like a hall monitor with a Super adge. (My worst nightmare.) Is that what you want to be known as? Up your standards bitch.
He's like - A.) Don't call me names because it's not becoming; B.) I could get you dead, like, quick.
I'm like - So? So could my mother (quick rolling pin to the head).
He's like - I'm doing THE BEST I CAN!
I'm like - 'Zackly. Bitch.
He's like - Don't push me.
I'm like - Yo? Don't fuckin' push me!
He's like - I'm zee ubercommander of the western world.
I'm like - Oh? West World? Hah! Is that -
He's like - WAH? Did I say something controversial?
I'm like - Huh?
He's like - You better chill, motherf - Even your boys say so.
I'm like - Whatchoo know about it?
He's like - I-I'm your boss...
I'm like - No you ain't. This ain't Havana.
He's like - Dude, chill. Don't cause an international incident.
I'm like - I DON'T CARE!
Next record.
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The General arrives with a girlfriend. As usual he makes a lot of noise before he settles down to listen to CDs with us.
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The Hives
Veni, Vedi, Vicious
Burning Heart Records/Epitaph
www.epitaph.com |
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HOLMSTROM:
Wow - I can see why these guys are making some noise out there - this is good! What a relief from that emo shit we just listened to. According to the CD label, this came out on 9/12/00 - two years ago. One year before 9/11... It must have gotten lost in the huge pile of CDs people send us because I didn't find it until now. That or maybe that 9/12/00 date is a typo. After all, I didn't even publish PUNK #0 until 1/01! So where the heck did this come from? Where were we?
THE GENERAL:
Hold on, gotta puke! BAAARRFFF!!!
JOLLY:
I don't believe you. This stinks. I don't like it on contact. Hey English girls - give me all that you have apparently got.
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HOLMSTROM:
Best band member names I've seen in a while: Gerry Atric/vocals, Rusty Trombone/lead guitar, Wes Texas/rhythm guitar, Mississippi Sweetdick/bass, Hell Sancho/drums. This is nice, fast stuff. This is music to drink beer to! Man, I wish they were playing live right now! Instead, there's all this lameass 9/11 Tribute stuff tonight... I wanna hear music to kill terrorists to! This is the soundtrack of the end of the world! Bring it on! Let's party like it's 9/11/02!
THE GENERAL:
Where are the hot skinny naked broads?
JOLLY:
So? This group uses hateful language. On National Teevee! (Atomic explosion sound) This sounds good.
Look at that last line (I'll repeat it for you, Jealous), I quote (from, Ahem, myself): Teevee! (atomic explosion sound) This sounds good.
There, you fake artists.
Next song.
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HOLMSTROM:
Great CD title. According to their PR, all the band members have been in a lot of different bands. So, like, what's so bad about an older punk rock band? Normally, I'd say "Nothing." But these guys claim to have been compared to The Misfits, the Dead Boys, the Ramones, etc. etc. ad nauseum. They're not THAT good. They're okay, but nothing to write home about.
THE GENERAL:
You know what? This CD sucks!
JOLLY:
Something about "Destroy the Human Race." That's typical of what you can expect when you delve into the human psyche - but not piecemeal. Then - it's like: Good, not that good, terrible, somewhere between the three, none of the above, FANTASTIC, Okay, GREAT, good, etc. (The human psyche does not ever repeat - even with the same material regurgitated ad infinitum).
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HOLMSTROM:
Okay, am I really drunk or is this one of the weirdest CDs we've ever listened to? I like it for that reason. It's different. Sounds like The General's "Happy Birthday Songs" CD. Or circus music. Or something. Worst CD of all time, though. Well, at least it's different! Jolly just left. He doesn't wanna write no mo'...
THE GENERAL:
Yeah, baby? Oh, shoot me!
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HOLMSTROM:
Another retro group. I don't like see guys as much as The Kaisers - these guys are more like The Archies or the Ohio Express, while The Kaisers are more like the Dave Clark Five. Don't get me wrong, I like bubblegum, but this stuff is cloying and irritating... Too cute. Cute as a pail of kittens. Excuse me while I barf!
THE GENERAL:
The best band since the Banana Splits!
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HOLMSTROM:
Why the fuck did these guys from Universal send this CD to me? Nelly? WTF kind of rapper name is that? This CD is pretty bad, too. The big hit is "Hot in Herre" (sic). The words are very funny: "It's getting hot in here/So take off all your clothes." Anyhow - this CD is WEIRD! Cedric the Entertainer appears on three tracks, and Justin Timberlake appears on one song. How obvious can a cross promotion get? How more corrupt can our culture get? Nelly's image is that of a "gangsta rapper" but his music is slick, polished and overproduced. This CD proved how mainstream rap can be even more boring than the worst punk rock I've listened to all night.
THE GENERAL:
Ain't no Sly and the Family Stone!
JOLLY:
It's got to be very good - pop hits on it. Nelly addresses everybody as "Durty" (right - like Stone Cold Steve usedta say: "Don't Trust Anyone.") This is that new "Black Military" sound that the Bush People rely on so heavily. But the Army is... wait... "The Army is not just a job - it's an adventure!"
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HOLMSTROM:
I am playing this as a joke because Glen Jones is here. But this is a great rock 'n' roll CD! The lyrics for "Naughty Boy" are hilarious! So are the words for "I Am The Android"! Wow. These guys make my short list of Great NYC Punk Rock Bands along with The Bullys, Peelander-Z and... I forget who else. I hope I still like this CS when I am not so drunk!
THE GENERAL:Hey, if it got Jones in it, it's number 1!
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HOLMSTROM:
I had to honor Johnny Heff at this 9/11 party somehow. It's one year ago that he died - just two blocks from here... This is the best stuff I've heard all night, hands down. THIS IS the best punk rock band in the world. I included some of Johnny Heff's raps. Like the one on "Drunkness:" "The Five Stages of Drunkenness." What a classic rap! Johnny is killing the crowd here. Everyone is stunned by his words by his rap about "Women" when he talks about kicking some Taliban ass because they mistreat women. What a guy.
THE GENERAL:
What 9/11 Tribute would be complete without The Bullys' Johnny Heff! He is a true American hero! USA! USA! USA!
JOLLY:
"Gotta get drunk get into a fight"
- Johnny Heff of The Bullys (and a firefighter, incidentally, who died at the World Trade Center).
According to Johnny Heff, these are the Five Stages of Drunkness:
Stage 1: "I'm always right."
Stage 2: "I'm good-looking."
Stage 3: "I'm the richest person in the world. I got it and I'm spendin' it."
Stage 4: "I'm bulletproof - pick fights plus Stage 1, 2 + 3."
Stage 5: "I'm the best-looking and richest motherfucker in the world and I'm invisible to everyone I'm pickin' fights with."
Too bad he died. Don't forget.
PS "I'm against ALL authority"
- J. Heff (Don't forget THAT.)
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