|
PUNK Magazine Listening Party #8 (8/17/01)
The General's Listening Party
by Anna Blumenthal, The General, Jessica Henderson, John Holmstrom, Jolly Prochnik and special guest Joy Ryder!
Notes by Holmstrom
|
We love punk rock 'n' roll! Send your review CD to: |
PUNK Magazine Listening Party
PMB 675
200 East 10th Street
New York, NY 10003
|
It's been a rough summer. PUNK Magazine is barely scraping by while I try to raise some money to keep it going. So The General, good buddy that he is, offered to host a party until my GW Bush tax rebate check arrives. (Don't you think most people will spend that paltry $300-600 on beer, food and music, like I plan to?)
On the other hand, man, it sure was good to have The General back. The last Listening Party with Legs McNeil really sucked! The General missed it - he went to Ibiza, the Techno Temple of the World, for a vacation, so he came back starved for some rock 'n' roll music. What is it about rock 'n' roll that makes most of us true Americans love it so much while the rest of the world listens to that techno-trash?
All the Usual Suspects were at this party: Jolly, Anna, Jessica, and me (Holmstrom). And Anna invited Joy Ryder, who hosts her own TV Show on Manhattan public access. (1:00 a.m., JOY RYDER'S RHYTHM CLUB, Presenting local blues, jazz, and R&B performers. 29 min. It's like Wayne's World [the public access show, not the movie] 20 years on, hosted by a groovy chick instead of two nerdy guys.)
Nova Express II | Anal Thunder | Bite | The Mud City Manglers | Birthday Songs | Scrotum Grinder | Glen Jones | Space 380 Compilation | Television
JESSICA:
Wowza! This's really good. I'm really impressed. I love the vocals. This is really great: fast-paced and just-enough. But wow those vocals by Mike Dee just sound awesome. I really can't say enough good stuff about this band. Although we only get four songs on this CD, it's so good that it makes you want to hear more.
JOLLY:
Good.
THE GENERAL:
Let's break furniture and shove Cheese Doodles up our noses! This band rocks! I can't believe Frank doesn't think Schaefer is the King of Fucking Beer! I'm gonna throw some in my sneaker and make him drink it!
HOLMSTROM:
Great punk rock 'n roll, great band name, great CD title, only 4 songs though. But the CD has some good guitar stuff. Fast and loud, what else can I say, I like it! They even use a cowbell! (The single weirdest instrument, IMHO.)
Return to top | next
|
|
Anna walks in while we're listening to Nova Express. She just got out of her new job at LOOT magazine. Good Neighbor Frank, my neighbor, also walks in, and takes a beer from the stash. Grolsch. He's picky about his beer.
ANNA:
Off to a great start! This CD makes up for the last two listening parties for sure! Fast punk rock! From Finland! Yaaaa!!! And they wrote their name like RATT writes theirs! A moment of silence for this CD, please! Can I take this one home with me tonight?
JESSICA:
This band's hilarious! The first song is called "My Ass" and it's funny as hell. This band hails from Finland and sent us some pictures and they would be a hilarious group of guys to party with. Like they mention in their press package they really do sound like The Vandals. But they play well together and they really sound like they would be tons of fun to see live.
JOLLY:
Not good.
THE GENERAL:
GREAT, LOUD, UGLY ROCK 'N' ROLL AT ITS FINEST MAKES YOU WANNA BASH A BEER CAN AGAINST YOUR SKULL!
HOLMSTROM:
Great band name, great CD title, great CD. They seem like one of the coolest bands in the world! Too bad they're from Finland - I won't be able to see them live very soon. In their song "80's Kid" they do an A-Ha riff - that's very funny since A-Ha was one of those Abba-like Scandinavian bands...
Return to top | previous | next
|
|
JESSICA:
This CD is so incredibly hard to review because I want to know whether the singer is a man or a woman. I think she's a man. Anna, The General, and I are sure that Chelsea Rose is a man! Well, the CD is okay, but the vocals are a little too soft for the fast-paced music.
ANNA:
Slut rock! This is pretty good! At least it's fast enough so if it's not so good it's so fast I think it's good. Anyway, we just spent about half an hour discussing if the singer is a man or a woman, which was silly because "she" is a man for sure. Well, cock or pussy, the CD is decent. And they did some cool covers: "New Rose" and "(Just Gimme Some) Truth."
JOLLY:
Okay.
THE GENERAL:
The big debate is whether the lead singer is a guy or a girl. I say it is some guy dressed up like a broad. All I know is Frank is getting ornery. He just kicked Jolly below the equator. Guess them she-males turn him on.
HOLMSTROM:
Chelsea Rose, the cool-looking, female lead singer... Waitaminnit, everyone else insists she's a guy - I KNOW she's a girl, the photos just don't do her justice, and anyway I called them to find out... Their number is scrawled on the CD. It takes a while, but the guy who answers the phone confirms that Chelsea Rose is 100% woman, and no one has ever doubted that before! Apparently no one else in the room was around during the 1970s glitter rock thing. That, or there are just way too many drag queens in New York City. It does get confusing at times. Anyhow, it's a good record. Bite is all right. Decent cover of the Damned's "New Rose," one of my favorite punk songs of all time - they play it fast enough but the guitar is kind of weak. "Gimme Some Truth" is another decent cover, I like the band's energy and the singer. But if they didn't try so hard, I think they'd be a lot better... Sex is a difficult thing to pull off in rock 'n' roll. If you overdo it, you can look artificial and phony, posed, overglamorous, and worst of all, man or woman, your every physical flaw is up for scrutiny.  
Return to top | previous | next
|
|
At this point in the party, Joy Ryder showed up. (She has an excellent public access TV show and has headed the Joy Ryder Band since the 1970s and played CBs and Max's back in the day.)
JESSICA:
These guys are frickin' fun as hell. They sent us a great big press kit and for Christ sakes they have their own beer coasters. The songs are really loud and fast and really fun, with Rocky & Bullwinkle samples in between. Apparently, they're named after a football team from Rocky & Bullwinkle. Wow! I am IN LOOOVE! Hey, if the Mud City Manglers are reading this, CALL PUNK! WE ALL wanna get wasted with you guys 'cause you RULE! And your band RAWWKS!
ANNA:
Good PR! These guys sent a beer coaster with the CD so we are not inclined to use the CD itself to protect the table from our can o' beer - which I wouldn't because the music is great! I feel like I'm on Prozac today - which I am NOT - because I haven't had a mean word to say about any CD so far today! The last song, "Different Shade of Black," sounds like a KISS song - "Plaster Caster" - in the beginning. YEAH!
JOLLY:
GREAT.
JOY RYDER:
Drummer reminds me of Jerry Nolan except for the really fast stuff.
THE GENERAL:
Another great fucking band! Their cover notes sum up my life: "Drinking is the only way to solve problems." Yeah! Drink 'til you drop! And they have Bullwinkle the Moose comments between songs. Nobody knows drinking like Bullwinkle the Moose! I never understood my life until this band! And if I move my head a little to the right, I can look up Jessica's dress!
HOLMSTROM:
What can I say about perfection? This might be the coolest band of all time! They remind me a lot of The Bullys, my favorite NYC punk rock band... Yeah, they're that good! They even have "Rocky & Bullwinkle" sound clips on their CD. Class. Real class.
Return to top | previous | next
|
|
 | Baby's First Birthday Songs
St. Clair Entertainment Group, Inc.
Music For The Developing Mind |
JESSICA:
This is classically ridiculous. Ha ha! All I have to say is The General is a fine human being!
ANNA:
Huh? This is what Macy's plays during the Christmas season.
JOLLY:
Not bad. No, not bad at all.
JOY RYDER:
Any of these tracks will clear out a club! The 4 a.m. crowd chasers!
THE GENERAL:
I hate to say this and you know, I love "Happy Birthday" like there is no tomorrow. But this is the best CD I ever heard! It's techno, it's today, it's down to the beat. It speaks to the people. Yay disco! Damn, this music is turning me on! I got to go to the bathroom! I hope Frank doesn't follow me in... This music gives me gas.
HOLMSTROM:
Pure disco. Baby's first disco shit. This is The General's favorite CD. He loves hearing the song "Happy Birthday." This CD also has "For He's A Jolly Good Fellow," "Skip To My Lou (My Darling)," stuff like that. Just awful. Why The General insists on listening to this I don't know. Sadistic fucker.
Return to top | previous | next
|
|
I tried to end it here, you know, quit while we were ahead, but everyone was having so much fun they insisted on listening to more CDs! Wow! What a difference from the last party, when Legs insisted that listening to CDs was boring and we had to stop! Well, like I said, there's a weird karma that goes with these things. Like last time, Legs McNeil insisted the music sucked, and it sucked. This week, with the ultimate fun guy to party with, everyone's having fun!
JESSICA:
Well, there always has to be at least one stink bomb at a Listening Party and this is it. Hardcore, screaming, and no style is what this is. It just sounds like someone is screaming and a bunch of Biohazard kids are playing rockstar in their garage or at a VFW hall. No, sir, I don't like it. [Jessica had to leave the party at this point.]
ANNA:
The horribleness of this CD almost makes up for the sheer brilliance of the past few CDs. Angry guys yelling, randomly hitting the skins and playing loud bass riffs. How can anyone really be this angry? Are things really that bad?
JOLLY:
Terrible. Just terrible.
JOY RYDER:
Very Oi, from the title of the song I'm glad I can't understand the lyrics. Damn, these guys are fast! (Ronald Reagan song: Damn, these guys are angry!)
THE GENERAL:
Ain't nearly as good as "Happy Birthday." It doesn't give me gas! But, this is a great CD to play loud if you've got to cut the cheese. Hey... That new girl is beginning to look pretty good after my 8th can of Shaefer...
HOLMSTROM:
Doesn't exactly live up to the title. It's not bad. Sounds a lot like Anal Cunt - short songs, thrash, unintelligible lyrics, etc. I like most of the songs, but most of them sound the same. Too predictable. They should put people off-track and throw in a soft ballad or a polka or something.
Return to top | previous | next
|
|
 | Glen Jones
One Night Only
Released by WFMU AM or Promotional Purposes only
www.wfmu.org/jones |
ANNA:
Che cos' é? A compilation? Hmm. I guess it's an album of Glen's radio show - pretty cool. Good selection of songs. Yeah, Glen!
JOLLY:
Glen Jones! CD!
JOY RYDER:
A3: A Dance Piece--> Willy Deville meets Tom Waits - love that gravely voice.
THE GENERAL:
LOVE ME THE CD GLEN JONES ROCKS OR IS IT RULES, OR WHAT THE HELL IS IT? (I think I got to go back to the bathroom - got me more gas...)
HOLMSTROM:
I drew the cover for this CD so they sent me a copy. Figured I'd give it a spin, and Jones a free plug. It's a good sampling of what his radio show sounds like. I think it's only available to people who donate money to WFMU-FM.
Return to top | previous | next
|
|
 | Space 380 Compilation
...Transmission Three...
Space 380 Music Promotion
Space380.com |
ANNA:
Press release says: Guaranteed to satisfy fans of nine Inch Nails, Marilyn Manson..." Yup. Guaranteed to make fans of The Ramones and Johnny Thunders to throw up. Maybe that's a little harsh. I apologize. Just not my type of mooo-sic.
JOLLY:
As Louis Ferdinand Celine says: ...
JOY RYDER:
1. Technostuff - elevator music of the future, kinda weird! We need drugs to listen to this record!
2. House brick beat: See above! (Music for Mafia strip clubs...)
3. "Electro rock" = Sitar through a Wa-Wa-pedal? Very odd. Glad they're having fun... Get Jean Cocteau to do the video.
The Fuzz: Melodic, what a concept!
THE GENERAL:
UGH! More of that awful techno shit pretending to be new wave. When the hell did that happen? When did techno become punk? I bet it was Madonna. She single-handedly wrecked music! I once broke up with a chick because she liked Madonna. And because she never cleaned her toilet. That and this music MAKE ME WANNA PUKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HOLMSTROM:
Oh man does this ever SUCK! AWFUL total crap. First band is H3LLB3NT. AWFUL! I think this band should do like their name says and go get bent. Sounds like "Machine-Pop." Wait - that's what they call it on the CD cover! I thought I was thinking up a clever insult, but it's no joke. Next up is some disco techno stuff. DraStik. Is this really what kids listen to now? Man, this really is the end of the world then... Pigface is third act on the CD. (Are we supposed to like a band with a lame-o name like that?) "Electro Rock," with members of TOOL, CHILI PEPPERS, PIXIES, WEEN, ROLLINS BAND, NINE INCH NAILS etc." SUPER AWFUL SHIT. Now kids know what it's like to grow up listening to The Beatles and end up with Ringo's All-Star Band, I guess. The fourth song is by The Phuzz, "Alternative Punk Rock"... Well, seriously, I am glad that a mainstream compilation like this includes some punk rock. Punk should be the most popular music in the world because it is so great. And it sounds SO GOOD after all that techno/disco. "I Don't Want To Be Human Today" by The Bubba Factor is even better, but still nothing to write home about. Then after two lousy punk songs, they play "AAA/Songwriter pop," "African World Pop," "Smooth Grateful Jazz"... Medieval Pop/Folk... It's one weird genre after another I never heard of before and never want to hear, each song worse than the last. This has to be the that unique point in time when the worst music ever, and I mean EEE-VER, is being made. Man oh man... What are we gonna do?
Return to top | previous | next
|
|
Almost everyone leaves around now, as usual. I think this CD convinced them it was time to leave. People seem to have a certain tolerance for listening to new music. It's tough out there. How you gonna break new music when no one wants to hear it? Whatever, this is why I like to program something more familiar for the end of the night:
ANNA:
I love this band. This CD - the double live Big Blow Up - is okay, but their album Marquee Moon is awesome! Tom Verlaine and Richard Hell are from Wilmington, Delaware, near Newark, DE, where I went to college. (University of Delaware - go Blue Hens!)
JOLLY:
One kool name for a band - and they were a really great band and I mean REALLY GREAT. Not MUD CITY MANGLERS great if ya know what I mean. Anyway, they were smart without being pedantic and they weren't some half-baked knockoff of the Velvets or somethin'. But you had to be watching + listening and not just standin' there pretending to exist. Television is really good when you're hung over and little things start to mean a lot: leaves, wind, light, stuff like that. It's for when you're just hanging on to the edge of the chessboard of existence by your fingernails: A strong gust of wind and...
THE GENERAL:
I HATE THIS BAND. They RUINED the good name of TV. A bunch of monkeys screaming would sound better. I need another beer. Where the hell is the pizza.
HOLMSTROM:
I liked Television when I first saw them (Richard Hell's Last Stand, opening for the New York Dolls at the Little Hippodrome in 1975, which was the last time The Dolls played). I even liked them the first few times I saw them after that. I don't hate guitar stuff, not when it's done well. Always liked Hendrix and Jeff Beck. But started to hate the genre when the likes of Robin Trower showed up. (Anyone remember him now?) I like it when it's good. I even interviewed Television for PUNK #2. Afterwards, Tom Verlaine warned me, "You're gonna be sorry you named your magazine PUNK, y'know." I was like "???" We had just started riding high, and I couldn't have been happier that we called it PUNK. So I didn't get it.
But I think what he should have said was HE was sorry we called it PUNK. Television was (according to all the critics and scenesters at CBGBs) the band that was going to be the Next Big Thing. They were going to break BIG. Patti Smith had just been signed, her first record got great reviews and sold decently, and Television was the perfect follow-up to what she was doing. They were the thinking man's Grateful Dead! But PUNK magazine came along and ruined their perfect little plan. Blew it to pieces.
Patti Smith and Television were New York Rock Critics' music. Not that it makes it bad music, just sort of exclusive. Television is almost unapproachable. Their music is sort of unfriendly, distant, cool to the point of being evasive and slightly superior. If you met a person like that, would you want to hang out with them?
As I remeber it, in early 1976 Legs McNeil and I were just about the only two media people in New York who thought the Ramones were the best band in the world. (Actually, Robert Christgau, of all people, might have been the third.) Most critics liked the idea, thought they were cute, but thought that Television was the band to watch out for. People hated it when we insisted on playing their first record at parties in 1976, and when we'd shout that the Ramones were the only band in the world worth listening to. Even critics (too numerous to be named here) who wrote wonderful things about their first record or once Leave Home or Rocket To Russia came out thought they were too raw, too one-dimensional, too much of a joke, too ugly, too loud, too simple, etc., to put out more than one interesting record. I am not kidding. This is a big reason why PUNK magazine was dismissed in our own adopted hometown of New York City - most people at CBGBs hated our guts! The Ramones, PUNK magazine and the whole punk movement were thought of as a cartoony novelty act that would last a few months by most "musicians" and rock critics in New York. So I guess Tom Verlaine was trying to pass on The Great Wisdom from all the genius rock critics back then to me, and explain to simple-minded me that we had made a BIG MISTAKE when we called it PUNK magazine.
But the joke was on them, wasn't it?
Return to top | previous
|
|
|
